Dear Diary...

Today is Thursday! I had my final difficult paper which was mod math paper 1 today. It was ok. I'll pass! But I failed Chemistry, haha, not sad though, find it pretty funny. So we were free after recess right until school ends. Me and a big group of friends in my class were playing all kinds of games, laughed so much, HAHA! It was really nice that I get to play and be close with them :) Okla, I love my class even though it's not perfect <3


And so it was evening. Went out with Ivan and Jojo (the not identical twins), and we had dinner together, just that I did not eat. And we talked bout few stuffs. I like going out with friends la :D It feels so great that I can just go out without asking for permission, without informing anyone. Without anyone calling and asking me where was I. And walking to pasar malam myself and get my own things, and then go home whatever time I want. Guess tonight is the last night of my FREEDOM. Will miss the "moments", sobs, haha.


But after I came home, I started thinking again. (Not good). Feeling emo from the inside. And then I realized something about myself.


All this while, I thought I've been through it, and I thought I was wise enough to handle the situation when it happens. And I thought I just did not like the idea. But what I just realized is that it's not that I don't like it, but i'm avoiding myself to be involve in it as much as I can. And when it suddenly breaks through my defends wall, I do not know what to do.......

Haih...

I'm so... (the usual word) Confused!!! Man, typical emo-ers. If only I can learn how to control my own feelings and thoughts. Need to be disciplined. Well guess it's just between me and God. It's SO HARD not to get distracted by it, but so far it's been real BAD. I'm afriad I can't hold myself any longer, ahh!!

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Well let's look on the bright side! I'm gona go through it fine with the help of God. I can fall so low down the ground, but in seconds God can lift me up higher than a tree! :D Higher la! It's gona be fine.