Seasons.

I'm getting this feeling again....


The 'concentrated' sadness in me. To the point where it takes alot of effort to just smile (It is usually very easy for me). Nobody knows what's actually bothering me except my sister. The side effects of it? You'll realize it if you really observe.


But though i'm at my lowest, people are coming to me for comfort, hoping that I would understand them and care and encourage them. I'm really afraid that I'd get so fed up that i'll break all of their hearts.


What's really happening is that i'm causing more and more of my close friends to distant themselves away from me. All by my own actions. But I don't intend to.


I had a horrible nightmare. My dreams usually tells me how I actually feel when I don't realize it when i'm awake. But a few days ago, I had a dream that warned me about something that is about to happen if I don't change. Now that's scary right? When I woke up from that dream, I kept thinking about it. Usually dreams do not make any sense, and so as this one. But it was so disturbing that I had to keep thinking why are the things the way they are in my dream? After thinking aloooot, it still doesn't relate to me at all.


So 2 days passed and something really bad happened. The feeling that I felt was.... I can't really describe it. I don't even think that there's a proper word for it. But it was partially sad. I was crying, until the dream came to my thoughts. And from there, everything made sense already. The dream, what happened in it, the people who were involve, what was I actually doing, and everything else. What I felt that moment was exactly how I felt in my dream. IT IS PRETTY WEIRD.


Since it has been revealed to me, I can see it happening. Don't make any sense to you? It's ok. It's about me anyway. I'm gona like... Ask God whether is this dream from Him or not. If it's not, OMGOSH, give me a brainwash.


:/