Today's training was the kind of training that I would fear of. Haven't got my fitness back and I had to do this tough workout, with Selangor runners, pressure's on me :'( I did the pyramid workout: 150,350,450,350,150. I couldn't walk straight after the 450m run. Headache hit me badly at the second last run. I was like shouting for help inside my heart to God. God!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so I lay flat on the floor looking up to the sky, and saw that it was beautiful and it was God's creation. Feeling a slight relief but still I had to finish my workout, isshh.....
I cried when I was suffering to even walk right. And keep telling to myself that I cannot go on. I walked, and I stopped. Walked, and stopped. God was the only thing I needed that moment. The only person I would want to talk to and not my friends. I seek Him so much but it feels that He reveals so little to me. But after every run, I thank God, that I finished my workout! That I didn't give up, and I tried my best. I also thank God for free transport home so I that I don't have to take the lrt and walk home with headaches and buttache, lol.
God I need You so much. More than anyone else. I just don't feel that I can do anything now. I only feel that enemies are coming to my way constantly and I don't wana flee, but I can't fight back either. Fear is at my doorstep, can I ever live fearless for once? I know my weaknesses, and Satan knows it well too. He's gona make traps for me, especially in my weakest point. I hate him!!!!!! But I know he can't rule over me so....... :
About school today, my friends..... I have nothing much to say. A few of them came over to my house for dance practices and we had fun. So it wasn't as bad as the previous post :P Still, I pray that I'll be more responsible, caring, and understanding. I don't want to abuse my 'authorities' as a monitor. If only they could see it....
So it's kinda late, and I'm really tired after a whole day of working out. So thanks God for letting me express my troubles and feelings to this blog. It is very useful. I ask for Your strength and wisdom to go through tomorrow. And please multiply my sleeping hours! Thank You! ^^
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