WEDNESDAY!

What can I say? God has been great! I was suppose to have a Mid Year Exam for Bible Knowledge today at church. And of course.... I didn't study >< Because I really don't have the time to revise. And I have never done the test before. So I was finally free to study at 4.30pm. Unfortunately, I fell asleep on the sofa, (bad place to study). And my sister slept beside me so she kinda influenced me to sleep also, haha.


I woke up at 6.30pm, and I had a nice rest but found out I have even lesser time to study! AHH!! So I was praying so badly, and read as much as I could. But it didn't really help much. As I was walking to church at 8, I was so worried, cz I know that I will screw the whole paper. And it's BK, what would they think of me if I fail the paper.. And so I prayed like crazily, and said stuffs like "Whatever the results may be, no matter how stressed up I will feel while doing the exam, whatever they may think about me, or how they will judge me according to my results....... I still put my Hope in You." And when I reached there.........................





Guess what??






It was postponed!!!!! Wheeee!!!!! Pn. Julie realized that we weren't ready for it yet. So we did a small test just now, and we can refer to the book. Thank God!! Felt so much relieved!! I have another 7 more days to study. Now I really need to work for it. Thank You God for being so understanding :')


What really make me feel upset about today is my dad. While I was on my way to tuition, he started saying this in the car, "When I suggested that you should step down from your monitor post, I could see that your teacher was happy about it because she wouldn't like a monitor with bad results." When I told this to my sister, she was so angry she couldn't say a word. Imagine how I would feel. So encouraging of you DAD. F.Y.I. Not everyone is capable for the job and NO ONE in my class likes the job. And I survived with it since primary school. And the good thing is, I LOVE the job. No one could see what it meant to me. Even my close friends asked, "Why do you want to do this?" She thinks it's stupid in a way when teacher asked for help, like a dog, running to her and do as she says. It's more than that.




I get to build relationships with teachers. Real close ones. I even "evangelized" to my last year form teacher. Until now, she's still keeping my bible beside her bed. Besides, I get to know everything beforehand. It's cool in a way, being responsible for your class. Not easy. But if it works out, it's awesome! But my dad still said, "You think about it, what's a monitor with bad results.." So if I can get good results, it makes me perfect? I may not be the smartest, but I am more than willing, and I know I can handle it. And I've done this for 4 years in this school, I know how it works. I think my dad rather me to become the monitor than to be a normal, bad results student. Sighh.......




I have to really work Super ULTRA HARD for my end year. If I still don't get good results, my dad will force me to stop on one of my activities. And I CANNOT afford to lose any of them. They are all important to me. My dad and my eldest sister are always against me. In their speech, in their actions. Everything I do. It's so hard for me to live with them. My 2nd sister(Huey Lin) said that, they are against me because they don't know who I trully am. Hmm... Yea that's true. They don't know me at all. All they see in me is just a lazy, irresponsible, inconsiderate, immature, *all sorts of craps* girl. They don't know. Sigh. The word 'FAMILY' is very lovely.


Gotta sleep, cz my DAD restricted my 'staying up in the night' hours. Because of this, I don't have much freetime, not even for homework. SIGHHHH. Nights.