Don't know why I felt so much better after dinner. Maybe it's the coffee? Maybe it's the company? I don't know, but I never talked so much in this whole week and lasts'. After crapping all the crap out of my mouth, I felt better, haha. Had a good laugh on my own. :D Needed to smile again.
I feel crappy lately. As you can see in my previous posts. I still feel the same, but more positive now. At least motivated to change. God please don't let anything put out this fire.... Talked to Ps Reynold in the afternoon. Though I didn't open my mouth much, but I remembered him saying, "Even if we chose to go our own way, God in His grace will draw us back to Him." That reminded me of how great is His grace for me. How amazingly graceful He is. It just struck me, maybe it was what I've been neglecting all these while. After all the self condemnation I put on myself. Sometimes I curl up in a ball gripping myself tightly, feel like I can't move. It's scary :(
As I begin to pray, and sing to Him, may He deliver me from this dreadful position. Pray for me too :/ And for my scholarship, or whatever!! Peace :D
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