Desperation 2.

I'm in a position where....

I can't help myself.
I can't help others.

So.... How now brown cow?

HOW???!


Stuck.


I don't seem to care for others as much as I used to. I'm not capable to help others as well.


HOW???!


Life has not been progressing. Still don't see anything good coming my way.


HOW???!



Don't know what's happening to me. All I know is that i'm burried in sorrow and confusion. Unable to make the right decisions, procrastinating to do the right thing. My SPM result is coming out tomorrow. I... Do not have confidence at all that I will score well. But am very confident that I won't score well. Hmmph.. I know I'd regret much, cannot bare to take in all the disappointments from my relatives and friends and myself. If only I could disappear for a few days, away from people, escape from life for a while.



I feel like running away, from the troubles, the decisions, the disappointments, the burdens, the responsibilities. But the more I run away from it, the more afraid I will be. Life is not so simple anymore. If you ask me what's wrong, I really DON'T KNOW how to tell you in words. But i'm so troubled emotionally. All I can tell you is that i'm not okay.


I'm really not okay.