troubled again.

I realized that I have a lot of stored-up anger in me. I'm releasing it out in a good way at least. I started running in my house to get things done. I accidentally hit my foot against the table so loud that my cat got shocked, and it didn't hurt a bit. I'm starting to finish food that are going to spoil. And i'm dancing and jumping and talking very loud and energeticly, it's a form of some release of energy from within. I think i'm just super hyper la. Good way to waste energy.


Sigh. I'm so lost. I can't take a loan, I can't get a scholarship, it feels like no one and nothing can help me to study in a college or university unless I work for a year and start next year. Sometimes too troubled by it that I just refuse to go search for help. It feels like a hopeless situation. Forget about HELP. I'd have to owe the bank my whole life if I take their loan. I'm not that capable. Haih. I don't want to ask banks, or colleges, or my uncle, or whatever. I don't want to think about it. Y'know? This feeling? I just want to switch myself off for a while, though I know I got no time to waste. WHATEVER MAN.