Today feels like a bad day.
I couldn't feel like myself anymore.
During prayer meeting, I looked so dull that people thought something was wrong with me. Well maybe there is, but I didn't plan all these. In class, I slept till my neck hurts. I just look like a dead zombie.
So Daniel sat beside me and asked me what's wrong. Er.... I think i'm pretty much dried up. So being Christians, we ought to love one another. Haha. They prayed for me and man... I'm nothing but a dried meat. Lifeless. Dull. zZz...
I think I worry and think too much about what's gona happen if I don't get good results. My family (uncle) expect me to get straight A's because of my PMR and UPSR results. Caryn's mother always use me as an example to Caryn to motivate her to study. I'm have been one of the worst student (based on academic results) in my class. There's just too MUCH things to memorize. I can't study. I can't think. I fall asleep easily. My driving instructor already booked my driving test on the 20th which is only 3 days before my trials. My lesson will start on the 10th, which means I have to cramp all my lessons in 10 days during the holidays, which was suppose to be my hardcore study days. Mom wants me to help her in her church. Cell group worries me. Dad nags me to study everyday, every word he said adds weight to what i'm carrying now. Dear God, I......
I'm doing what the bible says I shouldn't do. I worry too much, when Jesus asked us not to worry. By worrying, I doubt His sovereignty over my life. How is He gona help me if I don't let Him? By worrying... There's not enough time to just sit and be still. All the chapters I haven't covered. Actually, so far, none. How much time left to trials? 3 weeks. Just shoot me dead.
If time would stop for me... No it wouldn't. I'm hopeless...
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"Anyone who listens to my teaching and obeys me is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won't collapse, because it is built on rock."
ReplyDelete-Matthew 7:24-25-
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."
-1 Peter 5:8-
The devil is like a roaring lion, waiting to bring you down emotionally, spiritually and physically. Whenever negative thoughts comes into your mind, whenever Satan deceives you and tells you that you don't have enough time, whenever he brings you down emotionally and tears you apart, remind yourself that God's hand is at work. And the only way you're going to see God's hand at work is when you learn to submit all your plans and commit to Him. It's 3 more weeks before trials, which means you have more than 200 hours to study for it.
Pray first, then study.
The Bible reminds us constantly of how God's work is always at hands, that when we feel we're trapped and impossible to pass through certain obstacles, He tells us that He's guiding us every single step.
Haven't you learned anything from all the wonders that God has done in your life? When you were sitting for PMR, representing the school in hurdles, and all the other events in your life you were afraid about, hasn't he brought you out of fear? Hasn't He showed His love and power and told you that He's still in control? It's time to be strong! It's time to rise up and do whatever that is supposed to be done! And it's time trust Him, for He will give you the peace that you need.
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You."
-Isaiah 26:3-
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matthew 6:34-
Learn to take captive of your thoughts.
Don't let your feelings overcome you and control you, but overcome them and take control of your emotions.
The next time you feel as if you can't make it through trials or SPM, remind yourself about Philippians 4:13, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
=)
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
ReplyDelete-Hebrews 4:16-