Dull Grey.

Some people, say things without thinking that whether it would hurt the person. They say it as easy as 1,2,3... But the words troubled me for days. Sometimes weeks. Sometimes I'll remember it for life. And some people, just don't know what they did. And they rebuke you for saying things like that. Don't you know that you are the cause of the way that I am feeling right now?



I realized that, many people, far too many, has done or said things which are so hurtful. I actually recalled them back, and I had this feeling of.... You know, pain. But I never really thought about it. And just moved on. I'm not holding on any grudges. But to think about it, I actually moved on from all those criticsm/judgements/rebukes that are not out of concern, when I can choose to not talk to them, leave that place and never come back. I actually lived with them and moved on. Get my point?



But thinking about a hurtful memory, leads to another, and i'm feeling down a little, because they are still not solved. But somewhere within me urge me to persevere. Though I CANNOT see what do I get when I persevere other than discipline, how can this thought leaves me for good, how can anything be settled.



I feel like.... I'm nothing. I've been feeling this way for such a long time, and it's sad to say that I can't get over it. I need more than just encouragements, more than just promises, I need something real to happen. Don't feel that it's any closer, don't even see it coming, in fact, I feel like I have fallen out of.... Everything I am.



I hate it when I have to feel like this, in times like this. I simply can't focus on my studies, i'm gona fail again.





Where is Your grace when I need it..?




To you who leaves comments. I can't take anything in right now. So please don't.