I'm tired of always having to be strong, or having to be the stronger one. The weak can't take your place, or both will fall together. Tired of fighting the battle on my own. If I let myself fall, will there be anyone behind me to catch me? But now it's no longer a choice. The responsibility was always on me. The one to blame was always me.
I'm not only facing struggles outside around me, there's a huge battle within me also. It's so hard... Sometimes too tired. Do you blame me for giving up? This is only the first time.
Yes I thought about the consequences, I thought about the people that I love, and the people who loves me. But i'm too weak to make big decisions and then follow it. I'm not fit to help myself any longer already. Repeating the last sentence for many many many times. I cannot help myself.
I'm no longer in the rescue team, but I need to be rescued.
Taking bold steps over mountains.
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