Day After Day

I waited the whole day just to get disappointed at the end of it.


I've lost my makan kaki. I've lost the one that NEVER fails to make me smile. I've lost the one that fills up my inbox and sent messages. I've lost my guardian. I've lost the one that brings me to great journeys everyday. I've lost the one that shows me things that are beautiful. I've lost the one that knows and does what's best for me. I've lost the one I'm accountable to in everything. I've lost my best and most fun dance partner. I've lost someone who watches the midnight sky with me. I've lost the one who would always greet me with a very warm hug and a kiss. I've lost someone who treasured me so much more than anyone else. I've lost my best friend.


My hands are lonely. My home is lonely. My car is lonely. My heart is lonely. My smile is at it's longest rest. My shadow misses its faithful companion that it always meets in the day until the night. My vain-ness is turning into dullness. My planner is empty. My phone is silent. There's not much to look forward to everyday when I wake up. There's no more.


I see others happy. I understand it but can no longer have it. I miss it but I try my best not to dwell on my own thoughts but be happy for others. The days that have passed felt like a year but it has only been barely a month. And I just forgot to breathe...


My cats are my best companions now. They are the closest to me. They sleep with me, wake up with me, go to the kitchen with me, eat with me. But they can never be compared to my best friend. My heart deceived me. It told me that it was okay. But behind its walls, there are full of uncovered pain. A portion of it has just slipped out. And i'm getting all these...



I'm sorry that I have not been the best. It was never about me, or about gaining for myself. But a sacrifice, a willing one. And I am left with these.


Everything is so MUCH HARDER now, but life has to go on. Well go on now.