C.R.Y

I'm so sick of thinking bout the same thing for so long. It fustrates me every day and night. And it will be the same until I come to a conclusion. I don't know how to relieve myself from all this. I just feel like crying x'(


The last thing I want to do is to make a decision that I will regret.


Valentine's night
Wasn't out with Aaron, but was working like a mad cow!! If you were there from 8-10.30pm, you can see that none of the waiters were standing or walking, but running! Yea, I sweat! I wore 2 layers of shirt and a long pants, grr, all because Imma girl. People had their roses, couples everywhere, many pictures were taken. I'm shoo jealous! But it's ok, had my Valentines already ;) I still feel pressurized working at Brussels. New challenges to face everyday, all kinds of it. I love challenges, makes me go for it somehow, but I hate to be consistent in it. I'm gona overcome it.


Later on..
I still don't know what I want to do. STPM? College? Man, I HATE THIS!! Many of my friends started already, feel like I'm left behind, working like a mad cow, doing different and weird things :( God where are You leading me this time? Am so lost. I feel so insecure about everything. Don't know whether if it's my own problem or things are just bad. Friends are moving on, tough challenges to face in work, family crisis, no time, Aaron's leaving.... My brain needs to breathe.


I don't know how to manage myself any longer, can't control my thoughts and emotions. Can't save myself, need somebody to do that for me. But no human being can help me. Am very troubled. Am only left to cry.