Spring.

Urgh... My eldest brother said, "My little baby is flying out of her nest already!"


Well I am. By? Working in a beer cafe. Being in a relationship.


So what do I have to say about the world? It's pretty ugly. But there are also very beautiful things. The people.... I don't know what to say. It feels like I'm half the world away from home when I'm at work. But the thing is... Everyone in work is lost and... They're just living their lives without knowing why.


Being in a relationship.
This is my first time talking about it openly in my blog. Hahha. I never really talk about how I feel before this. Anyway, I already asked permission from my dad, told my youth leaders in church, my mentors.. And God! :D Others will just find out by themselves.


Being at work.
People asked,"How's work?" I answer, "Horrifying." Hmm.. Well. I cried 3 times before going work on my 2nd day. That's how horrible I felt. But I've been working for 8 days already. Still feel pressurized, afraid. But starting to get the hang of that 'feeling'. Guess that's how I'd feel, or even worst, when it comes to real working life in the future. Sister thinks it's God's plan to prepare me or give me a taste of what it feels like dealing with the 'world'. Aaron thinks it's just bad. Nothing good about it. Lol. Well.. I still thank God for where I am right now, things that I've learn, and things that are about to come.


I feel that I've been far away for a very long time. Due to work? I start work at 5pm, ends at 1am, then sleep and wake at 11am. Do what I need till 3pm. Then take power nap to prepare myself for work. It's just tiring. :( So my life is only work, sleep and eat. How terrible and lifeless!


My sheeps been bugging me on my cell. Sorry I couldn't be there :( So I've made some 2011 plans! Visions, goals. Am very ze excited! :D Excited to see where the youth ministry is going. Time to 'rearrange' my life. Haha. Very very ze excited! In the meantime, things are not smooth sailing. Rocky and rough. But it seems that every path I take is rocky and rough, so I'll just live with it lah. :) Being a total optimist now.


Well it's good to behave this way in a new year. The old has pass, the new has come. Will live in the present. Whatever that is out of my control, I shall not bother, whatever that I can do, I will do. If God's taking me for an adventure, away from my comfortable little house, then I'll go.


My dad's been asking me to pay for so many things when I get my pay. RM500 for both our phone bills, RM200 for the internet, get a new phone for him and sister. Great. :/


Friends.
I'm starting to learn to cherish every individual, whether they are in good terms with me or not. Simply because I won't get to see them forever, they won't be with me forever. And if I ever cling on to one to be dependent on, God would take whatever I hold on to teach me to be dependent on Him anyway. And they will go to other places, and.. Won't see them till Kingdom comes.


It's time to strip off old habits. Get rid of pride. Stand out of comfort zone. Start being involve. Thank You God.