Whatcha gonna do now?

It's been a while since I last blog properly. Many things are running through my head right now. Normal things like, my assignments and their due dates, my quizzes and my end term exam that are just around the corner. Other than that, it would be either work, dance, church. Main things like friends, and even more, my own feelings right now. My plans, my goal, my dream, my passion.

I honestly don't like it when people question and doubt my ability to reach my dreams and goals, or my desire for the better. It's because they doubt, and they try to stop me, but in the end of the day, I know that deep in my heart, if I never had let their doubts reach my senses, I know for sure that I am able to do it. I know I can do it.

But going for what I want, I would simply lose all of my closest friends and family. When they say no to you, and that you cry because you know you can do it but they don't even give you a chance to reach for what you really believe in. I tried so hard to tell them, to explain, to share with them my dreams, and all they do is just to give you a BIG no just because they think it's wrong or bad.

You asked me to stop training because I just finish a surgery, I won a gold medal. You asked me to stop dancing, but today I'm able to perform around Malaysia because I HAVE NOT STOP. I have proven to you that I can reach my dreams and goals, all you have to do is just to believe in me. Of course bad things will happen, it doesn't mean it's a sign that you should stop reaching your dreams. Even if I fall, and failed, it is an advantage for me because I have learnt a true lesson instead of not trying what I really want to do and just accept the fact that it's not good just because you said so.

I can take risk, you can not. I dare, and not you.


I feel very lonely at times, though I have friends all around. The reason why is because nobody truly share their lives with me. Nobody understand my dream and desire, nobody would want to share the same passion with me. Nobody is going where I plan to go. Nobody feels how I feel. I guess it's pretty normal, that's when God comes in isn't it?

I just listen to the song 'Dare You To Move' and for the first time I tried to understand the song, and it gave me hope. The lyrics goes:

Welcome to the planet,
welcome to existence,
everyone's here,
everybody's watching you now,
everybody waits for you now,
what happens next?

I dare you to move.

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be.

I dare you to move.


You know how it makes me feel? It makes me want to reach for what seems to be unreachable! It makes me want to go for what seems to be impossible in the sight of men. I know if God is with me and if He is for me, no one can be against me. I no longer want to dwell in disappointments with friends and family. I no longer want to blame, no more wasting of time and just go where I can. I'm gona dare myself to move. Are you just gona sit there and watch like everyone else? Knowing only how to judge without knowing the truth? Go ahead, you'll get nothing in return anyway. Even if I succeed of fail, I gain.


*Release a big sigh* It's time to sleep. Things will be different if I choose to let it be.