It's coming

Good news: I'M FINALLY STARTING COLLEGE!


After months and months of being stuck, struggling to come to a solution of a tangled bundle of threads. Well I thank God, because I did pray that if He doesn't want me to go college, close the doors. But I got it quite easily lah I can say. The struggle is not getting the financial aid, but it's my own personal struggle within me. Well I look forward to a new stage of life that i'm about to start. I'll be looking forward to it's good and bad. But sadly, I see it mostly as bad.


A few examples:
1) I am required to maintain my good grades since HELP is paying more than half of my course fee. I'm easily motivated, but easily given in. Most of the time, i'm last minute, I procrastinate a lot. Easily swayed by my mood. Basically, not strong mentally and emotionally.

2) Peer pressure. I realized that many of my friends changed in some way after they got into college. They dress everyday like they're world class models, they have to maintain their 'good reputation', they change boyfriends like they change clothes (yea i'm talking about girls). If you don't own an iPhone you don't have a phone. They attend parties like that's a real life. My goshh... I pray I won't be like them. That's not the life I want.

3) Work/Dance. I'm bound to a contract I signed. I have to attend trainings on Tues, Wed, and Thurs nights. And I have to work at least 3 nights a week to pay off my course installments. So I have to work on Mon, Fri and Sun nights. I think..... I'm gona dai.... X_X



I'll definitely go through many hard times, but I pray that I won't let it overtake me, but I overcome them. If all of my friends are smoking, I don't want to avoid them, but I want to be the ONLY one that doesn't smoke because my conscience says so. I pray I will dress decently, I pray i'll stay focus on my studies that I may score well for everything. I pray I will learn to manage my time properly, learn to prioritize my life, and keep my integrity.


I'm not gona let my heart fall on any guy around me, even if they're good looking, or talented, or charming, because I love God and then Aaron. I'm gona pray that i'll stay faithful to Him and then him, and if it's God's will, we'll get back together again after 5-7 years. I have nothing else to hope in other than God in this long distance relationship.


About my family... I think i'm very sick of taking about them. Not that I hate them now, there's just nothing good to talk about. No good updates, no improvements on anything. I'm afraid that I can't handle pressures that are gona come: My dance, work, studies, friends, family. Plus: No Aaron :'(


Pray that:
1) I'll grow in my relationship with God everyday.
2) Place my strength and confidence in Him.
3) Keep my integrity.
4) Manage my time well.
5) Ability to learn and understand fast in studies.
6) Seperate myself from greed, lust, pride, envy, jealousy...
7) Aaron. (hehe)


I'm far from perfect, far from even being good. But thank you for your amazing grace.