I is sad kitty.

I feel that my condition is getting worst and worst. I know that there are changes in me that are bad. In some way, I feel that I have to go through this to learn something very important. But whatever it is, I can't endure this for too long. I'm reaching my limits that are about to break. I'm so disturbed everyday, in everything that I do, with everyone that I meet. I feel so different from who I was or used to be last time. Do I rather stay where I was before this? When I was not exposed to distress, when I live in a world full of sunshine, where I give sunshine to everyone around me. Those were the days lah.

Right now, everything feels so different. I'm afraid to face the fact that things has changed. Whether is it for the better I don't know. But whatever it is, i'm very desperate for help. Help in what? I want to get out from this misery that I've put myself into. I want to get away and release myself from this feeling that I had held on to for a few months now. I want to breathe air that gives me hope, and not feel so hopeless. I'm so tired of feeling this way. To a point that has affected EVERYTHING thing around me. I'm so sick. I am sick.


How did it end up like this? I don't know. Ask God. Sometimes I don't know or understand why He does things the way He does. Sometimes I really just don't see how can things be for the better. Sometimes I feel that things are unfair. Till i'm so tired of following, and I need to just release myself.


I'm so desperate to break through.