On My Birthday

So my birthday finally passed, well it's coming again, haha.. Like Ivan said, it's a bitter-sweet birthday. I had good times and also, not bad but reallyyy bad times.

I started the day off crying, and ended it in the same way, lols. My dear sheep of mine, Caryn, had a surprise for me. She planned to surprise me with a birthday cake at 0000am. So she and Ivan was already outside my house, but they didn't know how to get me out of the house, so she pranked me. She messaged me, "Shepherd, i'm in hospital now, please come and see me, i'm afraid." Being a good friend, "Ok!!!" It was only 11.24pm that time. So Ivan called me and asked me what happened to Caryn bcz he also received a msg from her. I explained everything and he said he's coming over to my house now to follow me to the hospital. So I rushed and changed my clothes, called my dad and he said he's coming home right away.

This is where the bad part starts.

When he reached home, I was like, "Let's go!" My dad closed the door and said, "No." And I asked, "Why not???!" And there he goes saying, it's late, visit her tomorrow, will affect other patients, blablabla.... I was so angry bcz i really wanted to be there for Caryn, but I couldn't. So me and my dad kind of argued, and made me so pissed. I walked off and went into my room. I cried. Thinking, why is my dad like this. And suddenly Ivan messaged me to come out, I said i cant visit her tonight. And Caryn called and said, "Can u just come out?" At that momment I knew there was something going on.

So I asked her, " Are you lying to me?" "Yes, we are outside, can you come out now?" At that momment I feel like.... Hey! I just argued with my dad, concerning so much, and cried at the 1st minute on my birthday! But after wiping off my tears I went down and my dad was at the living room watching TV. I told him it was a prank and quickly ran out. And there goes my sheep with the cake. After the song I blowed the candle and loved the cake! After all the chatting with the 2 of them, I decided to give a slice to my dad. So I went in and offered him the cake, he refuse bcz he said it is late and he has diabetes. So, fine with me. And then I wanted to apologize so badly but I didn't dare to. So I called, "Daddy...... Daddy.............. Daddy............(already crying)" He ignored me. And then I went out and cried behing the car.

I knew it's not gona be good, me and my dad just can't click anymore. I felt hurt after he rejected me. I didnt intend to cry infront of Caryn and Ivan but I just couldn't hold back. .......... So the time came when they had to go off and I have to go in the house. They left. And walked pass my dad but he didn't say anything nor looked. And I went to my room crying, telling God I don't want to go through this again.

I love my dad. I do. Daddy, I hope we can be closer to each other and to understand each other too. There's just so many things u dont know about me. And that made u think differently about me. But Daddy I still love you <3>